Nervous Butterfly

[Marlene Morga]

Hi. As the title shows, I'm a 25 year old, almost 26 college student and beginner martial artist. I have trained and taken martial arts classes, but due to lack of finances and some bad luck, I didn't have the courage to continue in martial arts. Every day, I wish I could be able to get stronger and braver. My hope is to become a black belt in either Karate or Taekwondo, but I'm too nervous to even try to get back into the martial arts. Is there any advice I could get, either good or bad, so I could keep going for my dream? Thanks. -Marlene M.

 

[Ivan]

Hi. As the title shows, I'm a 25 year old, almost 26 college student and beginner martial artist. I have trained and taken martial arts classes, but due to lack of finances and some bad luck, I didn't have the courage to continue in martial arts. Every day, I wish I could be able to get stronger and braver. My hope is to become a black belt in either Karate or Taekwondo, but I'm too nervous to even try to get back into the martial arts. Is there any advice I could get, either good or bad, so I could keep going for my dream? Thanks. -Marlene M.

No one can force you to take the classes except for yourself. Try attending one session in a week, then two the next etc. and you will get used to the environment. Hit up a gym to gain physical strength and confidence in yourself. Read martial arts related books you find interesting to expand your knowledge, and thus gain confidence.

If you want to start out, but the nervousness comes from being a beginner or looking silly, take a look at these books to start you off with the basics of Karate or Taekwondo. There are plenty of books out there like this - just don't try to substitute training with a coach, with these books.

Karate Handbook - Ray Pawlett
Taekwondo Handbook

I personally vouch for the first book as a great resource to learn the basics of the most common karate techniques.

 

[Marlene Morga]

Thanks, Ivan.

 

[CB Jones]

So what are you nervous about?

 

[Marlene Morga]

I'm even nervous about writing this post now. I'm mentally disabled, but that doesn't bother my motor skills or physical capabilities. It's just the idea of disappointing those who I care about. It's a long story, but to summarize it, every move I make that is my own choice gives my parents or any of my family reason to put me in a hospital. And because of those times at the hospital, I'm even too afraid of even stepping out of the house now. Or more like disobeying my parents. Seems stupid enough of me. I looked to martial arts to find an outlet, an escape from the trauma that I lived through. Sorry if this is too much.

 

[isshinryuronin]

The only person you should worry about disappointing is yourself. If you apply yourself to martial arts for a few years (which may, before you know it, turn into a lifetime) you will develop a strength that will transform you. Set your ego, doubts and fears aside and go for it. Just doing this will give you, and those you care about, something to be proud of.

 

[_Simon_]

Hey Marlene, welcome to the forum, it's great to have you here

Thank you for reaching out here, I know that must not have been easy. And I can relate on some level to the nervousness.

I'm on the search for a new style too, and I've checked out a HEAP of dojos, and trained with most of them for a bit. And I get super nervous too, I really don't know why, but it's a form of stepping outside my comfort zone, into the unknown, to a new place, with new people, and no idea how it will go. Even if I'm just going to sit and watch a class haha! But every time I've done so, I've been incredibly proud of myself, and I've never regretted it once. And the more I do it the more I realise that I am capable, AND very importantly that it's no big deal, and certainly not as difficult, scary or big of a deal as I imagined it to be!

I would suggest very small steps; baby steps are the best way whenever you're anxious about anything. Simply shoot an email to a school you seem interested in, asking them about the style and what they emphasise.

Then if that goes okay (and it's an awesome sign already that you indeed have the confidence already within you; this is already a big deal reaching out and it shows you your own capability), you can ask if it would be okay to sit on the side and watch a class. You can even explain that you're a bit nervous to do so, and the instructor will hopefully understand and make it a very easygoing process.

It sounds like you're super keen to get back into training, and I think once you start... wow you are gonna love it and wonder why you didn't sooner!! But listen to that little spark, that voice that is saying 'YES' to you... your own inner wisdom is your guide.

These are really important reminders for myself anyway: that it's no big deal, to simply be curious and open, and that there's nothing at all to lose. These take the seriousness or heaviness out of it, so that you approach it more with an attitude of playfulness and curiosity, instead of trepidation, anxiety and 'it's all on the line' sort of thinking.

Each step you take gives you a bit more confidence in yourself, and when you start training I'm sure your nerves will dissipate more and more until you're joy in being there overrides it .

Best of luck and please keep us in the loop!