From another discussion board.
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Cow Politics!
Liberalism: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful so you force the republicans to give up their cows.
Republicanism: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
Bureaucracy, American Style: You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other and pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk equal to four cows. You are surprised when one of the cows drops dead, you spin an announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are 1/10th the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the amount of milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains, and if there was a cow school they would be at the top of their class.
German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so that they are tan (blonde), drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and can run at a hundred miles per hour. Unfortunately the cows demand 13 weeks of paid vacation a year.
Italian Corporation: You have two cows. But don't know where they are. While ambling around you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch with her. Life is good.
Iraqi Corporation: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Polish Corporation: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and/or killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation: You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks it's French, while at other times it thinks it's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control over the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. SOme people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally a bunch of guys from out - of - state tells you which one you think is the best looking cow.
California Corporation: You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak english. Most are illegals and Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
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Cow Politics!
Liberalism: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful so you force the republicans to give up their cows.
Republicanism: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
Bureaucracy, American Style: You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other and pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk equal to four cows. You are surprised when one of the cows drops dead, you spin an announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are 1/10th the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the amount of milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains, and if there was a cow school they would be at the top of their class.
German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so that they are tan (blonde), drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and can run at a hundred miles per hour. Unfortunately the cows demand 13 weeks of paid vacation a year.
Italian Corporation: You have two cows. But don't know where they are. While ambling around you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch with her. Life is good.
Iraqi Corporation: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Polish Corporation: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and/or killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation: You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks it's French, while at other times it thinks it's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control over the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. SOme people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally a bunch of guys from out - of - state tells you which one you think is the best looking cow.
California Corporation: You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak english. Most are illegals and Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
