Jeff Gordon Fires His Entire Pit Crew
NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon has announced he has taken advantage of a new Stimulus Package program to employ inner-city youth by firing his professional pit crew, and replacing them with ex-gangbangers.
The decision to hire the boys was inspired by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from street gangs were able to remove a set of wheels from a car in less than 6 seconds even without proper equipment. Gordons existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds, even with the benefit of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of high tech machinery.
The scheme was hailed as an excellent and bold move by Gordons management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
At the crews first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon has announced he has taken advantage of a new Stimulus Package program to employ inner-city youth by firing his professional pit crew, and replacing them with ex-gangbangers.
The decision to hire the boys was inspired by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from street gangs were able to remove a set of wheels from a car in less than 6 seconds even without proper equipment. Gordons existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds, even with the benefit of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of high tech machinery.
The scheme was hailed as an excellent and bold move by Gordons management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
At the crews first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
