in the blink of an eye, your life is changed forever

[bluenosekenpo]

yesterday afternoon at 1:00pm, i was returning from last minute Easter shopping for the kids. the exit from the underground parking lot is up an enclosed set of stairs. when i opened the door i was greeted by a couple of street guys doing crack. now they let me pass but when i passed the last guy he got a little abusive. anyway the long and short of it was he followed me up spoiling for a fight. even going so far as to say he would kill me. my first inclination was to attack, blow out his knee and damage him. then a weird thing happened, while we were jawing at each other, my mental vantage point shifted to a point above the whole situation (out of body experience?)and i noticed things like, he was high and beligerent, one of his hands had stayed in his pocket the whole time, there was a lady sitting in the passenger seat of a car across the road watching and lots of other details, all viewed in the third person.

i wasn't frightened but very cautious. i had a fence in place to get him to keep his distance, but at one point i saw the stuffed animals i bought for my kids peaking out of the bag on the ground and in a moment of total clarity i thought how am i going to explain hurting this guy to my kids when i can probably walk away, will i be able to explain it to the police?or what if he gets lucky and stabs me with whatever is in his pocket? father killed on easter weekend? this whole thing took place in about 60 seconds. seemed like hours.
i ended up diffusing the situation enough to walk away. no one hurt, very surreal experience. if my kids were with me this would have gotten ugly, quickly, luckily i was alone. i notified the authorities when i got home.

it's taken a day to try and analyze the whole bizarre situation.

1) going up the steps, into an obvious creepy situation, with both hands full, dumb.

2) jawing with the idiot, dumb.

3) slow to switch over to survival mode(thinking more like it was the street version of ufc), dumb

4) situational awareness up and running

5) analyzing the situation(maybe too much?)

6) getting out of the situation without anyone being hurt.

7) biggest lesson learned. share your love and your life with your family because in the blink of an eye, when least expected, it can be over.
:angel:

hope this hasn't sounded too silly, i'm still working it out.

so, this is how i spent my saturday, has anyone been in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

 

[Feisty Mouse]

I like #6 and #7 especially.

I'm glad you are OK.

 

[MA-Caver]

yesterday afternoon at 1:00pm, i was returning from last minute Easter shopping for the kids. the exit from the underground parking lot is up an enclosed set of stairs. when i opened the door i was greeted by a couple of street guys doing crack. now they let me pass but when i passed the last guy he got a little abusive. anyway the long and short of it was he followed me up spoiling for a fight. even going so far as to say he would kill me. my first inclination was to attack, blow out his knee and damage him. then a weird thing happened, while we were jawing at each other, my mental vantage point shifted to a point above the whole situation (out of body experience?)and i noticed things like, he was high and beligerent, one of his hands had stayed in his pocket the whole time, there was a lady sitting in the passenger seat of a car across the road watching and lots of other details, all viewed in the third person.

i wasn't frightened but very cautious. i had a fence in place to get him to keep his distance, but at one point i saw the stuffed animals i bought for my kids peaking out of the bag on the ground and in a moment of total clarity i thought how am i going to explain hurting this guy to my kids when i can probably walk away, will i be able to explain it to the police?or what if he gets lucky and stabs me with whatever is in his pocket? father killed on easter weekend? this whole thing took place in about 60 seconds. seemed like hours.
i ended up diffusing the situation enough to walk away. no one hurt, very surreal experience. if my kids were with me this would have gotten ugly, quickly, luckily i was alone. i notified the authorities when i got home.

it's taken a day to try and analyze the whole bizarre situation.

1) going up the steps, into an obvious creepy situation, with both hands full, dumb.

2) jawing with the idiot, dumb.

3) slow to switch over to survival mode(thinking more like it was the street version of ufc), dumb

4) situational awareness up and running

5) analyzing the situation(maybe too much?)

6) getting out of the situation without anyone being hurt.

7) biggest lesson learned. share your love and your life with your family because in the blink of an eye, when least expected, it can be over.
:angel:

hope this hasn't sounded too silly, i'm still working it out.
so, this is how i spent my saturday, has anyone been in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

I don't think it was silly at all really. You did a rare thing actually (IMO), you stopped and think (or is it THUNK?) before you responded. If anything you should be proud of yourself.
Yes you basically walked into that situation but the way you handled your mistake(s) is the key here. You'll know better now and all that and have a good thing to teach your kids about "situational awareness" and what can happen when you're not practicing it.
Crack-heads in my experience are just too volitile to mess with. You were lucky.
I see several things you did that was part of being a martialist. (not in order)
1. had a fence in place to get him to keep his distance
2. aware of A: he was high and beligerent, one of his hands had stayed in his pocket the whole time, B: there was a lady sitting in the passenger seat of a car across the road watching
3. wasn't frightened but very cautious
4. You didn't launch into it (fight).

Maybe you would've reacted a lot different if your kids (and/or wife) were with you. Maybe not. Maybe you would've given the guy a ten spot just to get him out of your face and leave you and the kids alone.
Either way you handled it very nicely IMO. Pat yourself on the back, go hug your kids tell 'em you love 'em and sleep easy. You did good.
:asian:

 

[Nanalo74]

Glad you made it home safe brother.

Having your hands full is sometimes unavoidable. You were coming home from shopping. What were you gonna do balance your bags on your head?
You did recognize that you shouldn't have been jaw-jacking with that guy. That's good. To paraphrase The Incredibles, you never wanna get caught monologuing (the undoing of every supervillain).

I liked the way you handled it once you analyzed the situation. You made it home to your family and no one got hurt, and you didn't let your ego get the best of you. As men that is sometimes the hardest thing to do. ("Who does this guy think he is?" "Nobody talks to me like that!", etc.)

Good job.

Vic www.combatartsusa.com

 

[still learning]

Hello, Your Teachers should be proud of you. This is what your training is all about. Awareness and avoid. You should be awarded the highest award for your actions. You are thinking like a true martial artist.

The other side of the coin? One could be going the morgue and the other to jail. We only get to have one life. Enjoy it as long as you can.

Read the "comics" this guy brought one insurance policy for his dog and nine for his cat! .......Brother you got eight more! .....Aloha

 

[sgtmac_46]

Glad you made it home safe brother.

Having your hands full is sometimes unavoidable. You were coming home from shopping. What were you gonna do balance your bags on your head?
You did recognize that you shouldn't have been jaw-jacking with that guy. That's good. To paraphrase The Incredibles, you never wanna get caught monologuing (the undoing of every supervillain).

I liked the way you handled it once you analyzed the situation. You made it home to your family and no one got hurt, and you didn't let your ego get the best of you. As men that is sometimes the hardest thing to do. ("Who does this guy think he is?" "Nobody talks to me like that!", etc.)

Good job.

Vic www.combatartsusa.com

Hint: When returning home from shopping, the bag with the cans in it should be held in the strong hand. A plastic back full of cans swung in an arc is devastating when striking a soft squishy object.

 

[Nanalo74]

Hint: When returning home from shopping, the bag with the cans in it should be held in the strong hand. A plastic back full of cans swung in an arc is devastating when striking a soft squishy object.

I'll keep that one in mind. Thanks.

Vic www.combatartusa.com

 

[Poggy]

Glad you're ok dude! You should be proud of the fact you thought about things.

You're right what you're saying about how everything can be over though.

Now i think you should make a book/dvd and tell us all how to see things from a 3rd person view hehe.... btw i'm having first copy

 

[Pittbull]

Man I have to say you handled that situation better than I would've.You done what every MA instructor would you want you to do.You defused a poteintaly deadly situation without a conflict.
You have shown you true heart by winning the war without harming you foe.Stay strong and train hard

 

[Drifter]

There's a series of tapes by Lt. Dave Grossman called "The Bullet Proof Mind", IIRC, that discusses some of the effects of adrenaline dump on people, or how they percieved things during the fight. Some of these were:

Tunnel Vision
Loss of Hearing
Gain in Hearing
Time Slows Down
Time Speeds Up
Frozen Foot Syndrome
Seeing things almost as if they were in the third person

I'm not that surprised that you got one of those, considering the situation. Good job for defusing it verbally. There's no need to get into something for no reason, and you did the right thing.

There's a saying I heard on Kelly Worden's 'On The Edge' radio show:

If their hands are out of their pockets, don't let them in. If their hands are in their pockets, don't let them out. If you can't see their hands, they have a weapon.

Kudos to you sir, good job all around. Think of it as a learning experience.

 

[bluenosekenpo]

thank you for your thoughtful input. regards.