I made a decision and... "I stoped with TKD"

[Drunken_Boxer]

I practice tae kwon do for like one and 2-3 months ago, Im really happy there, you know, when you sparring with someone, when you learn new kick tehniques, self defense, new poomse, when im there with my friends and with my "Trainer" Im a different person, Im like "nobody cant stop me" and that things...but.
TKD is really a great martial arts, it changed my life, really, but when you have the wrong "trainer" who own a tkd gym then you are dunno just depressed, you are goin to think about some stuff, "why is this world not fair, why me, what did I do".
My trainer own a 1st dan, so...for a real good trainer who need to own a tkd gym needs a 3-4st dan right?
I know my trainer like 2-3 years, I thought he was a really good person, he changed his religion to "islam" etc..
But today...thats really sad, its all bout "money", am I right?
Karate and tae kwon do are the most expensive martial arts ever.
They dont care if you are good or bad they just want your "money".
I was in 2 tournaments, the first one was uhm not that big, my challenger was a guy who had a 2st dan, and I had an yellow belt...isnt that funny and strange?My trainer talked to that guy and said "Please dont give your best to my student, just do a little touch sparring without to knock him out, dont use doljo chagi, pndaeu doljo chagi, be careful with him" ...yes he said thta to him.
And I lost of course, 7:0 for him.
My second tournament was in Croatia (im from Bosnien), it was an europeon tournament i think, somethin like that.
My next challenger had a yep...2st dan, a really fast and strong challenger for an green belt student.
When i heard who he was and more, i was like shaking head, a lil bit depressed.Aha, my trainer was talkin to that guy like "be easy with him, dont hurt him" I was like "why the **** am i here if he keeps talkin to strong guys that they need to be easy with me, that they dont need to hurt me or knockin me out?"
I gave my money to give the best to fight fair, i didnt want to be like this.
But, i was very good...it was 7:3 for him...i lost again but was a lil bit happy, because damn 3 scores for me?Hehe you know what im sayin hehe.
I own an green belt and in december im goin to try to do my best for my next belt...but i will not happen *sad face*

I had my training yesterday, but nobody said to me that the training will start in 19:00, at last the training was always in 20:30, really i didnt know it.
When i came there, it was so quite (i didnt enter the gym i was in the toillete) it was sooo quite there, maybe they started to warm up or somethin, so I changed my clothes to my kimono and was in hurry
I enter the gym, everybody was standing there in "kimono" i said to the left said was my friend "hi" and was goin to my place where i always warm up, I said "sellam alejkum sorry I was busy a lil bit", and everybody startin to laugh, i didnt get why they was laughin, really so i joined them, man I looked like a jerk...like a idiot, yes i was an idiot.They just keep on laughin and laughin...it wasnt funny at all to me...so i decided to stop that "laugh" that smiley face and looked a lil bit mad at them.The trainier turned my back and started to laughin, is that a trainier what you call, was that nice what he did?
A friend 3-4 meter away from me said "The t raining is over, it started in 19:00" i was like "Wtf why nobody was callin me or somethin, or why my trainier didnt said that earlier to me"?
He is my trainer, hes job is if there wont be today training then he need to callin me or my friends, but either of them didnt do that.
To me a Tranier to situations like this should react:
1. enough laughin, stop that, he didnt know that the training was stated in 19:00 and not in 20:30
2. why didnt he know that?Nobody could calling him or what?

I was like "man **** this gym" i took my bag and gettin dressed again, a friend of mine said to me "dont get mad" i didnt said nothin to me.The trainier was writing somethin and calling me to come in, so I did, the others just looked at me and smilin, I should say "wtf are u laughin at"? but the trainer was there, so i came in and he said to me...check this, he said to me "How are you?" and he started to laughin too...
I looked at him strange and mad...didnt said **** to him, i just was "lets get the hell out of here, i will never come here again, never".
Damn my body are shakin heheheh, we dont have any tkd gyms here any more...sadly...
Im so sad... i dont know what to do, I dont have any experts here of martial arts that i could explain them that all, so here are I believe many who own 5st dan and even higher, I decided, i dont want to do tkd no more, if there was a another tkd gym i would change the gym...i really love taekwondo i really do...but this...this went to high.
I talked to my father and to my best friend they was like "Thats not good, that shouldnt be like this, and that all laughin stuff".

Im really sad... i will never own a 1st dan in tkd...and i was the most and best talented student in his f.... gym, I had;
1.talent
2.speed
3.disciple
4.strong
Was the best student there...its not imporant to be or who was the best but I was, I was serious with my work, no joking, no laughin etc..
Thank you all guys who are reading this, I really appreciate that and please leave a comment, I hope you all understood my situation and...once again thanks keep it up!!!

 

[WMKS Shogun]

Sounds to me like you just need to find a new instructor. It is not that Tae Kwon Do is a bad martial art or that you are a bad martial artist, only that your instructor has a lot to learn about how to be a better instructor. Do not give up hope.

 

[newGuy12]

Right, get a new instructor. From reading what you wrote, I would rather do without an instructor than to have one like that.

 

[Drac]

Right, get a new instructor. From reading what you wrote, I would rather do without an instructor than to have one like that.

I agree..Its the Instructor that makes learning fun..

 

[Drunken_Boxer]

Sounds to me like you just need to find a new instructor. It is not that Tae Kwon Do is a bad martial art or that you are a bad martial artist, only that your instructor has a lot to learn about how to be a better instructor. Do not give up hope.

I think you are all right guys...I really agree with you all, my best friend said also that i should pick a another martial arts or that i just need to train alone etc..
Im really depressed...because there isnt any tkd gym, just this one in this city...
And even if i knew that there was yesterday the training in 19:00 I wouldnt come, I would forget, because, we had this celebration day (eid mubarek), 3 days, from friday till sunday, even if the trainer (instructor) in Wednesday said that there will not be a training in Friday (yeah I did know that because in friday there was not a training) in wednesday he didnt said nothin about that the training in monday will be state in 19:00, nobody could calling me, and even the friend of mine who study tkd, he didnt know nothing about that.
Hehehe I didnt said that tkd was a "bad" martial arts, no I really love tkd, I really do and my instructor knows that.
I talked to my mother and she said "you will stop with tkd?Ohhh my god I have a stupid son, and thats all, they laughed at you and you was probably mad at them"? <--- Yeah she dont understand this situation, she dont know nothin about martial arts etc., lol, so if I go back to the gym I would be an idiot, dumb.
Im 100% sure, I will not go back. :/

 

[newGuy12]

Try not to despair. Sometimes when "bad things" happen, they actually LEAD to "good things".

I don't quite understand this: You say that there are no other good TKD black belts in your city? If you are NOT sure of this, find out. Perhaps you will contact someone who will teach you (and others) if you ask them. Then, you'll have a better Teacher?

Also, even if you learn some other martial art, that's not a waste of time. If you find a competent teacher in a good school, perhaps you can change schools. Also (now, this depends on how the school is run, and some schools will NOT like this) --> you can, after you become part of the new school, maybe ask some of the older students if they wish to also practice TKD. Good older students can learn counterattacks, kicks, practice methods from video tapes, if necessary, and then watch you to make sure the kicks are correct. Spar with you to give you practice.

I believe that if you really wish to have a TKD black belt, that you will succeed, some way. That is easy for me to say because I am not in your shoes. BUT, a TKD Teacher told me one time:

"Nothing is Impossible"

If you despair too much, and take no action, you have lost. If you persist in good action, to try to learn, somehow someway, then you will succeed. I truly do believe this!




High Regards,

Robert

 

[newGuy12]

Oh, and let's not forget. It may be that you will have to move to another city to get a good teacher. If you can find a job in a city with a good teacher, you may do that, move somewhere. Now, that's a big step, of course, not to be taken lightly.

But, you seem to value the goal of learning TKD so much that it may come to that. Who knows?

In any event, though things are difficult NOW, does not mean that they will stay that way. Not at all.

 

[Drunken_Boxer]

Try not to despair. Sometimes when "bad things" happen, they actually LEAD to "good things".

I don't quite understand this: You say that there are no other good TKD black belts in your city? If you are NOT sure of this, find out. Perhaps you will contact someone who will teach you (and others) if you ask them. Then, you'll have a better Teacher?

Also, even if you learn some other martial art, that's not a waste of time. If you find a competent teacher in a good school, perhaps you can change schools. Also (now, this depends on how the school is run, and some schools will NOT like this) --> you can, after you become part of the new school, maybe ask some of the older students if they wish to also practice TKD. Good older students can learn counterattacks, kicks, practice methods from video tapes, if necessary, and then watch you to make sure the kicks are correct. Spar with you to give you practice.

I believe that if you really wish to have a TKD black belt, that you will succeed, some way. That is easy for me to say because I am not in your shoes. BUT, a TKD Teacher told me one time:

"Nothing is Impossible"

If you despair too much, and take no action, you have lost. If you persist in good action, to try to learn, somehow someway, then you will succeed. I truly do believe this!




High Regards,

Robert

I agree with this, great post, thanks.
I asked my friend and he said that there is a instructor but he dont own a tkd gym or somethin, he is just a instructor, have an black belt 2th dan, he always coming in a fitness studio.
I cant just ask him to me my new teacher or somethin, but I would be glad working with him and more, he is 26 years old, and more an seriously instructor than my teacher.
My girlfriend said to me "So you will quit tkd only because they laughed at you?If they knows the truth why you stoped with tkd then they will probably say that you are weak and stoped tkd because they laughed at you"?

 

[Kacey]

If this is the only gym you have access to that teaches TKD, then you have to decide if this negative event is enough to make you quit; if not, then the best you can do is learn from your experience and move on. The instructor, much more than the art, makes all the difference - but if the only thing bothering you is that the time changed and no one told you, and then they laughed at you for showing up late, then you may need to take a deep breath and then think some more.

If there's more that bothers you than just this one incident, then you probably need to talk to your instructor about whatever is bothering you; if you don't feel you can talk to him, that should tell you something by itself, that you can't talk to him about problems in the class.

 

[jks9199]

I've gotta make an observation. The OP got laughed at. And, maybe, kind of mercilessly ribbed.

Let's look again at why. I'm going to write it a little more objectively, because I think it may shed some light on something. A student arrived for class, changed up, and fell into line ready to start class as everyone else was lining up to end class. And apparently didn't notice or gather that the class was almost over; I don't know about this class, but it's often rather clear that class has been going on for some time when I teach.

Yeah -- I'd be giving him some grief, too!

Now, I don't know how the change in class time was communicated. THAT is on the teacher. And the teacher's participation in the ribbing should, ideally, have been carefully considered. But, guess what? Sensei/sabunim/saya/sifi/whatever-you-may-call-it aren't really all masters of life; they're ordinary people with specific skills. Some of them more human than others...

 

[Tames D]

I've gotta make an observation. The OP got laughed at. And, maybe, kind of mercilessly ribbed.

Let's look again at why. I'm going to write it a little more objectively, because I think it may shed some light on something. A student arrived for class, changed up, and fell into line ready to start class as everyone else was lining up to end class. And apparently didn't notice or gather that the class was almost over; I don't know about this class, but it's often rather clear that class has been going on for some time when I teach.

Yeah -- I'd be giving him some grief, too!

Now, I don't know how the change in class time was communicated. THAT is on the teacher. And the teacher's participation in the ribbing should, ideally, have been carefully considered. But, guess what? Sensei/sabunim/saya/sifi/whatever-you-may-call-it aren't really all masters of life; they're ordinary people with specific skills. Some of them more human than others...

I think you nailed it JKS. However, Human or not, the sifu should have had a little more class , taken control of the situation and set an example. By not doing so, he lost a student. Who won?

 

[tkd_Jaz]

First of all don't get mad about it because you know that you are better than that. Second NEVER SAY "I will never get a 1st dan". You know that you have what it takes and as for the instructor, before changing instructors I would sit down with him and tell him what is on your mind. I think that one incident like this shouldn't be reason enough to leave if you still like the class and you have many friends.

 

[Drunken_Boxer]

First of all don't get mad about it because you know that you are better than that. Second NEVER SAY "I will never get a 1st dan". You know that you have what it takes and as for the instructor, before changing instructors I would sit down with him and tell him what is on your mind. I think that one incident like this shouldn't be reason enough to leave if you still like the class and you have many friends.

That makes a little bit sense my friend, also my mother said that exactly what you just post here and even my girlfriend...
They made me to look like an ape...my instructor turned my back mayn...when i was doing karate, my instructor would always calling me to help him out, and if there were not be a training today, I remember he would always call me.
But this instructor...i really dont remember when he called me the last time...maybe it was last 5-6 months, when I was in Croatia, not sure.
Man Im really confused...tkd is a great martial art...but the problem is the instructor who own this tkd gym...he isnt like yall said "experiend" at all.

 

[allpet]

I think you need to lighten up. It's obvious that there is a humorous side to someone showing up when the class ends, but the amount of laughing was obviously on the wrong side of what you will accept.

I don't think your instructor was that inconsiderate. He called you back to see if you where OK but it was YOU who didn't answer him.

I think you are taking yourself and your training way to seriously. You think you are his best student and everything. If you were he probably would have called you???

If you want to continue your training you need to accept the world as it is: The perfect instructor will never exist. The perfect gym will never exist. You must accept your instructors low grade. You must accept that the way you behave around each other at his gym might be different from what you expect.

And what you should do is help your instructor become a better instructor. After all he's only a 1st dan. Talk to him about the tournaments and ask if there are some other tournaments more directed towards your level. Tell him that he's bad at communicating changes in the class-schedules. Tell him you want to quit after they all laughed at you for showing up late, because you think that's the wrong way to treat another person. Beeing mad and walking away wont make anything better.

 

[Blindside]

Drunken_Boxer,

I think you are over reacting, trust me, if you came in two hours late to our class thinking that you were just starting, you would be laughed at in our school as well. It would be a friendly laugh, but yes, you should expect some good natured joking.

The lack of communication is unfortunate, but it happens, deal with it and find a way to make sure you know your schedule.

As for your complaints about your instructor telling much more advanced students to take it easy on you in competition, that was his perogative and quite frankly the right thing to do. You would learn precisely diddly about sparring or yourself if you got knocked out in the first 15 seconds of the match(s). He dumbed down your competition because you needed it.

Lamont

 

[HelloKitty]

I can understand sometimes we need to look for another instructor/school because we are just not comfortable. Maybe you don't need other style but other place to train.

And if you talk sincerely to your teacher, it could be an improvement. Maybe they didn't realize you were feeling bad, or maybe you're a little too sensitive about the situation.

Wish you the best!

 

[Bumblebee]

Are you quitting because no one called you about a class starting at a certain time? It really isn't your instructor's responsibility to get you to class on time. The way you reacted to everyone laughing and even cursing in the dojang shows you have a poor attitude. Also thinking that you're better than others in your class, is a reflection of that poor attitude. You should probably think about and work on that.

One thing though, is what were you doing sparring a black belt in competition? To me, I don't think that's something you should be doing. Black Belts shouldn't be competing against colored belts and vice-versa. You should be sparring people around the same rank as you.

I still don't think that everyone should've been laughing at you, after they realized that you were upset. Maybe your instructor was just trying to get you to lighten up about the situation when he pulled you aside?

I didn't post this to offend you in anyway, if you feel offended, I'm not going to apologize for stating my opinion. Hopefully you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

 

[Drunken_Boxer]

Are you quitting because no one called you about a class starting at a certain time? It really isn't your instructor's responsibility to get you to class on time. The way you reacted to everyone laughing and even cursing in the dojang shows you have a poor attitude. Also thinking that you're better than others in your class, is a reflection of that poor attitude. You should probably think about and work on that.

One thing though, is what were you doing sparring a black belt in competition? To me, I don't think that's something you should be doing. Black Belts shouldn't be competing against colored belts and vice-versa. You should be sparring people around the same rank as you.

I still don't think that everyone should've been laughing at you, after they realized that you were upset. Maybe your instructor was just trying to get you to lighten up about the situation when he pulled you aside?

I didn't post this to offend you in anyway, if you feel offended, I'm not going to apologize for stating my opinion. Hopefully you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

Hey, I agree with you about that "Im the best in class" and that I shouldnt do sparring with higher black belts than me.But thats my instructors opinion and I shouldnt accept it, i need to find low rank or some low tournaments, I talked to him because of that, and he was like "the problem is there are no low rank tournaments, just high" I dont believe him, dunno i just dont believe him.Im 100% sure that there are somewhere low tournaments...
My friend came tonight ffrom the training to my inet caffe...and he said "they are worried" my reply was "Who are worried"?
He said "the club and even the instructor was a lil bit sad because you left the club, its now 2-3 weeks that you left the club,
even your friend wants you 2 come back, and the instructor said that hes not fault that you left the club"
Ok lets check this out...if my instructor was smart enoug hhe would calling me, or he would just visit my inet caffe, because im working here every day.
I talked to my father and he was like "There are all lame, if he was lookin for you that i dont agree he would calling you, and even if he was sad that you gone, they are all garbage"... but when my friend said that all to me I was a little bit happy "Man they are all worried about me, nice to heard that"...but man I just dont know man, Im so ****ed up, i really love my club...but damn guys I just dunno.Even if i say to my father "Dady, I made an decide and i want to go back to my club" I know that he would be mad and angry about that, he would calling me "im this that, stupid boy" etc etc bla bla.
Even a girl asked me today "Will you come back?" i was like "dunno Im still thinking about that".

 

[newGuy12]

Well, train somewhere, with somebody. Either 'yes' or 'no', we all have decisions to make, and usually even bad decisions don't KILL us, unless they are REALLY BAD decisions. This is not one of those, right?