How To Cook Stroganoff While Fighting A Ninja

LOL.
Actually if you cut the onions in a bowl of water, they don't affect your eyes in anyway....
 
LOL.
Actually if you cut the onions in a bowl of water, they don't affect your eyes in anyway....
Yeah -- but it's a pain trying to work a knife in a pan of water like that. If it bothers you that much -- use a pair of shooting glasses or standard workshop eye protection. You rarely even need something that really seals your eyes off like swim goggles would.

And they'll protect you from eye pokes and ninja smoke powder!
 
The sharper the knife, the less onion juice gets into the air to make you cry. Dull knives crush and tear. You could also try lighting a candle in the kitchen or a gas burner. The flame takes care of alot of the sulfer compounds that make you tear up.
 
The true JSA method involves several important techniques.

The first and foremost is blade control, of course! Most of the evil emissions that cause the hardiest of warriors to weep come from the basal root plate of the onion. If you cut the top off and leave the root on and if you 'point' the onion away from you and cut slices through it (in best tameshagiri fashion) then tears will be rare.

This is aided by breathing through the mouth rather than the nose, for what is not commonly understood is that the attack form of the onion comes from an enzyme released when it is cut or especially crushed (as David noted above). That enzyme reacts with the 'flesh' of the onion and releases a gas. That gas when it contacts water generates an acid, which is what makes you cry. If you breathe through yur mouth, you draw the gas away from the olfactory nerves - it is those nerves proximity to the tear duct nerves that causes crying when cutting onions.

A subtle tactic that has great advantage is also to chill the onion before cutting - 10 minutes or so in the freezer will do it.
 
Totally unrealistic! What were they thinking?!

Everyone one knows that you never face just ONE ninja. If you see one ninja...be assured there are four other hidden the walls ready to pounce on you when your back is turned.

It's like roaches...or stink bugs...

Y'know what's REALLY funny to do with ninjers? Turn on the lights and watch 'em scatter.

:D
 
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