Fla. sheriff seeks portly 'ninja' in theft attempt

[Monadnock]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.

 

[terryl965]

They do relize Nnjas have stealth and cannot be cought.

 

[arnisador]

Too much!!! I need a pic.

 

[Gordon Nore]

A real ninja wouldn't have been caught on camera. This is a fake ninjer.

 

[exile]

They do relize Nnjas have stealth and cannot be cought.

I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??

 

[seasoned]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.

With this advanced training, they will never catch him. J

 

[grydth]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.

Nobody is taking this terrible threat seriously enough!

At the height of ninja power during the Tokugawa Shogunate, one could not find a single ATM machine in all the realm.

 

[JBrainard]

I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??

Using his super ninja strength and blinding speed the ATM would be nothing but a blur...

 

[Cryozombie]

I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an ATM is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be pointless. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??

Look. What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute... Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"

 

[exile]

Look. What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute... Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"

Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...

 

[Cryozombie]

Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...

Maybe... if I could convince the ATM to say "Exterminate!" I based my story on the more plausable speech that the ATM used.

 

[exile]

Maybe... if I could convince the ATM to say "Exterminate!" I based my story on the more plausable speech that the ATM used.

True, there is that...

 

[foggymorning162]

A real ninja wouldn't have been caught on camera. This is a fake ninjer.

Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?

 

[bluekey88]

Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?

All outta ninjey stars (cans of chew)??

 

[CoryKS]

Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?

'cause he's a ninjer. He's not Judish.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?

Y'all done got it done mixed up like. Fer that he needs a ninjer chop.

 

[Lynne]

You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.

 

[Monadnock]

:lol:

You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.

 

[grydth]

You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.

God bless you for this idea!

Now when my wife na-, er, reminds me I should be losing weight more quickly, I will tell her this current width is all part of my martial arts training regimen!:angel: