Bravery That Puts the Best of Us to Shame
- Thread starter tellner
- Start date
She made the right decision. Often with chemo, the cure is worse then the disease. Hopefully it's possible to ease the pain long enough for her child to be born.
A courageous choice indeed.
CoryKS
Senior Master
She made the romantic choice rather than the rational one, and I find it difficult to agree that it was best for all involved. But it was her choice to make, and so I respect that.
I have a lot of respect for this and must have been an incredibly difficult decision.
grydth
Senior Master
I agree with tellner. This woman's courage and self sacrifice is what a parent should do.... but how many today are quite the opposite, and in just routine circumstances?
14 Kempo
Grandmaster
I am aware of a friend that did the very same thing here in San Diego, difference was that this person was able to have the child and survive the cancer, so probably not as advanced, but as brave nonetheless.
Very courageous ladies.
Very courageous ladies.
This is a horrible choice to have to make. If it was advancd cancer, this may well have been the only logical solution, though that hardly makes it easier.
One of my neighbors is a nurse who works in a cancer treatment facility. She and I were discussing this issue a few mornings ago, in response to a TV show. She told me that many women who are diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy choose to continue the pregnancy; a significant number choose to have chemo at the same time, depending on the type and the risk. She knew of very few (less than 10%) who chose to terminate a pregnancy, and quite a few who chose to wait until they were out of the first trimester, when the side effects of chemo would affect the developing fetus, to begin treatment, and a fair number (~1/4) who waited until after the child was born to begin treatment.
Is this heroic? I believe so. Is it as rare as this article makes it out to be? Not from what my neighbor told me several days ago. Of course, the virulence and stage of the cancer makes a significance difference in the mother's options and the level of heroism in her choice.
Do I respect the choice Lorraine Allard made? Most certainly... just as I respect the choice one of my friends made when she went into premature labor at 26 weeks and chose to deliver at home, to preserve her child from the potential effects of being "saved" at such an early age; as a special education teacher myself (she's a speech/language pathologist who works in a school setting), we have seen too many of these children, whose lives were preserved at the cost of lifelong disabilities - cerebral palsy, severe learning disabilities, hearing and vision problems, permanent problems with health - are all much more likely with extremely premature babies such as the one in the story. He may be fine - but he may be like a girl I knew 15 years ago, who was 4 months premature, was born before her skull formed (and it never did; without her bike helmet, you could see her brain move under her scalp), had a permanent tracheotomy, a permanent feeding tube, was permanently in a diaper and a wheel chair, had no useful language (speech or sign; her fine and gross motor control was not sufficient for sign, and the tracheotomy prevented speech - and her apparent intelligence wasn't high)... She died at 10, of pneumonia, after several months in the hospital, having never known a day free of pain, a day when she could communicate with others, a day when she could eat. Only the parents can make that choice for themselves and their families, and I will not decry those who choose not to risk that level of disability for their children - but I respect those that do.
Is this heroic? I believe so. Is it as rare as this article makes it out to be? Not from what my neighbor told me several days ago. Of course, the virulence and stage of the cancer makes a significance difference in the mother's options and the level of heroism in her choice.
Do I respect the choice Lorraine Allard made? Most certainly... just as I respect the choice one of my friends made when she went into premature labor at 26 weeks and chose to deliver at home, to preserve her child from the potential effects of being "saved" at such an early age; as a special education teacher myself (she's a speech/language pathologist who works in a school setting), we have seen too many of these children, whose lives were preserved at the cost of lifelong disabilities - cerebral palsy, severe learning disabilities, hearing and vision problems, permanent problems with health - are all much more likely with extremely premature babies such as the one in the story. He may be fine - but he may be like a girl I knew 15 years ago, who was 4 months premature, was born before her skull formed (and it never did; without her bike helmet, you could see her brain move under her scalp), had a permanent tracheotomy, a permanent feeding tube, was permanently in a diaper and a wheel chair, had no useful language (speech or sign; her fine and gross motor control was not sufficient for sign, and the tracheotomy prevented speech - and her apparent intelligence wasn't high)... She died at 10, of pneumonia, after several months in the hospital, having never known a day free of pain, a day when she could communicate with others, a day when she could eat. Only the parents can make that choice for themselves and their families, and I will not decry those who choose not to risk that level of disability for their children - but I respect those that do.
You describe some hard choices there, Kacey.
It is one thing to risk your own life to give a chance of life to another but it is much tougher to decide to allow someone you love to pass on to spare them needless pain.
In the case of a child being born far too soon and knowing the medical consequences, I can only accede to the courage your friend showed in her particular circumstance. My heart goes out to her too for what she must've felt whilst making that choice and living with it.
It is one thing to risk your own life to give a chance of life to another but it is much tougher to decide to allow someone you love to pass on to spare them needless pain.
In the case of a child being born far too soon and knowing the medical consequences, I can only accede to the courage your friend showed in her particular circumstance. My heart goes out to her too for what she must've felt whilst making that choice and living with it.
Xue Sheng
All weight is underside
:asian:
I think what made me angry was the fact she'd had cancer undetected for so long that when it was finally diagnosed it was basically too late and she had to make this terrible decision. My heart goes out to her family.
We are so bad in this country at providing the medical tests necessary to save lives. You can't even have a breast screening done until you are fifty here. Public awareness of cancers other than breast cancer ( this awareness is mostly due to charities campaigning) and knowing when to get tests done early enough is sketchy. It makes for tragedies like this, so very sad.
We are so bad in this country at providing the medical tests necessary to save lives. You can't even have a breast screening done until you are fifty here. Public awareness of cancers other than breast cancer ( this awareness is mostly due to charities campaigning) and knowing when to get tests done early enough is sketchy. It makes for tragedies like this, so very sad.
No words... no words I can find for how I felt after reading that...
Ah, my heart.
Ah, my heart.
I have to echo Arnisador statement and she is right up there with the best.
- Thread Starter
- #16
It's a hell of a decision to have to make. If it were my wife or if I were the woman in question I might act or counsel differently if there were a good prognosis for treatment. But nobody can take anything away from her courage and devotion.
Live True
Brown Belt
Indeed, a tough choice that makes my heart weeps. I look at the pictures of her, though, and feel she made the best choice for her. I wish her family peace and joy in the coming years, and I hope Liam grows well and strong.
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