Arrogance

[Ping898]

I have a weird question....
How does one come off as arrogant but at the same time not come off as an ***/jerk?

I just got feedback from a meeting I attended a few months back and was told to remember that when I am in these meetings I am the Subject Matter Expert and have the full weight of the company behind me. It is expected by our sponsors that in meetings especially with vendors employees of my company will be like We're ______ of course we're arrogant.

But I don't quite know how to do that...I mean I can be arrogant, but it always seems like those who are arrogant are asses and I tend to avoid them, so I don't want to be like them.
I remember the meeting, it was my first meeting of the type and I hadn't even been with the company a year at the point. Plus I was working really really REALLY hard not to get defensive about the work I had done cause the vendor had written a letter to the sponsor and us that among other things took (unwarrented) pot shots at me (vendor didn't like the report they got).
But apparently after the meeting the sponsor talked to one of the other guys in my company asking something like what happened in there? Did they know what they were doing?
So I am just wondering for in the future does anyone have any suggestions on how to walk the line....?

 

[Ceicei]

Arrogant?

I think it probably would be much better if you go as "very confident" and that you show you believe in what your company has to offer. That usually goes much better than looking like an arrogant jerk. Show "passion" when representing your company.

- Ceicei

 

[bydand]

Agree with Ceicei. I think a better discription would be "Supremely Confident" I have never met anyone who was arrogant that wasn't a horses ***.

 

[Arizona Angel]

I agree with everyone. Arrogant people aren't respectful of anyone or thing. Would rather be confident.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I agree with what everyone has said.

Ask yourself these questions.

When was the last time you heard someone refer to someone else as an arrogant idiot?

When was the last time you heard someone referred to as a supremely confident or very confident idiot?

Confidence yes, arrogance no.

 

[tshadowchaser]

supremely confident, knowledgeable, and helpfully suggestive are always better than being arrogant

 

[MA-Caver]

Yeah, I gotta agree with everyone else too... (but then I'd jump off a bridge if everyone else was.... j/k).
Big difference between confidence and arrogance. The difference is in attitude, body language, posture, tonal inflection, choice of words and all that.
Like Ceicei said... knowing what your company can do and that it's capable of delivery of said product (whatever it may be! ) and having a proven track record to back it all up... is radically different than talking out of your *** and saying "oh yeah we can do that" but can't really prove it.
I think it was Norman Vincent Peale that said "...attitude makes all the difference in the world."

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

If you are good at what you do then your vendors will feel that confidence and generally that will make them happy. (they have the best guy's working for them after all) However if you go the arrogant road then generally no matter what they will probably think of you as the arrogant jerk. It is nice to be good at what you do but also it is great if you can do it while being nice, kind and helpful. (treat others as you would want to be treated because that always goes a long way)

 

[Ping898]

Arrogance, being Arrogant, is what was specifically said to me, but could be he picked the wrong word to say....

 

[morph4me]

I think that being arrogant would imply being condescending, at least in the eyes of the person who made the statement. It might just be a bruised ego talking.

Besides, I was always under the impression that you had to be male to be an arrogant jerk.

 

[bcbernam777]

Agree with Ceicei. I think a better discription would be "Supremely Confident" I have never met anyone who was arrogant that wasn't a horses ***.

Amen to that

 

[Kacey]

I agree with those who say project confidence. Arrogance, in my mind, often hides uncertainly and bravado - but confidence makes me think of dependibility.