Ah HA! Women's Brains Vs Men's Brains ...

[MA-Caver]

Finally something that I've read that actually explains the differences between men and women's brains that (for me anyway) makes sense. http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12154&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=7073855

While most articles talk about this or that... this one approaches from the scientific and medical level and well... light bulbs were going off in my head. So ladies... I quote Darth Vader to Luke in ROTJ... "you were unwise to lower your defenses..." basically letting science figure it all out. heh heh...

Honestly though understanding leads to better interactions and better relationships.

 

[Tez3]

"Treat her to a transfusion"...of what exactly? Are we talking vampires again?

 

[Sukerkin]

Interesting stuff. I was unaware of quite a bit of that.

Half in jest, I have to ask that, if all of that is true, why is it that women cannot use those cereberal advantages to know when it is time to stop arguing with their man because he is about to blow his stack?

 

[Stac3y]

Half in jest, I have to ask that, if all of that is true, why is it that women cannot use those cereberal advantages to know when it is time to stop arguing with their man because he is about to blow his stack?

Oh, we know. We just. don't. CARE. :EG:

 

[Sukerkin]

ROFL :tup:.

Ah, that'll be it then .

 

[MA-Caver]

Originally Posted by Sukerkin
Half in jest, I have to ask that, if all of that is true, why is it that women cannot use those cereberal advantages to know when it is time to stop arguing with their man because he is about to blow his stack?

Oh, we know. We just. don't. CARE. :EG:

In all seriousness it's not that you don't care... lots of women somehow for some weird messed up reason feel they NEED to get yelled at.
A lady I knew a while back wouldn't stay with a man for long if he didn't lose his temper and "go upside her head" once in a while.
MANY I know just stay with the jerk even after one episode. Far too many stay with the *** because it's a daily occurrence.

The man they wish they had is rarely the man they choose.

Sigh

 

[David43515]

The man they wish they had is rarely the man they choose.

Sigh

Story of my freakin` life.

 

[Sukerkin]

Aye, that one is a conundrum.

I have only known well a couple of people who were involved in domestic violence and have been on the receiving end of some myself once (the relationship ended that very night). So, despite what the media would have us think, it would seem to be thankfully rare but I really don't comprehend trully what drives it.

The lass I knew who confided in me what was going on had this unfounded surety that she could change the man involved. I tried to explain that that sort of 'dominance behaviour' was indeed generally (tho not always) rooted in insecurity but that the cause of it was usually so far back in the persons history that the odds of weeding it out with meekness and compassion were very remote. They eventually split up but I dread to think what she went through first (and deeply rued my promise not to get involved).

The chap I knew who I found out beat his lady you would never believe would do such a thing, he was such an easy going fellow. I confess I never talked to him about it, the very notion filled me with such contempt for him that we never really spoke again (I was young at the time so lacking in life-experience which made things even harder to comprehend).

From my own life, there was only one time when I came close to seeing what it must be like for those chaps who get battered by their wives/girlfriends. The lass in question was tiny but fiery as a blacksmiths forge and liable to fly off the handle at, as far as I could tell, zero provocation. I could cope with it when it was sulks, furies and flounces (with the general accompanyment of slammed doors) but when she started trying to hit me one night that was the final straw.

I can vaguely understand how the pressures of life can drive people to want to have control over someone else because everything else seems to have control over them but I still don't really comprehend how that can possibly worm its way into being part of what should be a loving relationship.

 

[mook jong man]

Story of my freakin` life.

Don't worry you'll find a nice fella one day. :lol:

 

[MA-Caver]

I can vaguely understand how the pressures of life can drive people to want to have control over someone else because everything else seems to have control over them but I still don't really comprehend how that can possibly worm its way into being part of what should be a loving relationship.

I can barely understand it myself, however having worked with sex offenders who are just as bad (if not WORSE) as abusers it's not only about control but the feeling... the euphoric feeling of power. A combination of both.
On FB I've joined a group called "Men Against Rape" and was reading some of the commentary. A LOT of it was juvenile and just an angry fist shaking rant about how rapist should be treated in jail and blah blah blah. Not that I don't agree with them... I just see it as a pointless waste of energy that could be best channeled into something more... constructive.

Anyway whether a man is raping or beating a woman it's still all about power/control. When a woman cries "stop", "leave me alone", "I'll do anything just don't hurt me" or any number of the defensive cries as it's happening it gives the abuser/rapist a sense of power and having that power over something you can (theoretically) control it. This provides the necessary rush of that so-called brain chemical (serotonin? endorphin? ) which gives a nice pleasant sensation coupled (pardon the pun) with the sexual climax (if any in the abuser's case... because it's not always about sex... yet it shouldn't be no surprise that they may beat-up on the wife/gf and go have sex with another woman because in his eyes she's lower than dirt).

What should be the mystery is why women stay. Yes, fear, yes insecurity, yes loss of resources necessary (sometimes) to leave i.e. money, car, et al., yes threat against loved ones, including their own children.
Yet with all the protective resources that are available to battered women now-a-days why is it still difficult. Probably because the protection is sometimes (sadly) not protective at all. Or at least not 100% effective.
A restraining order don't mean squat to the determined.
So until it is fixed the system is going to have to do and until it's fixed battered/raped women will have to continue to sadly suffer.

Here's hoping that changes will be made for the better in the near future.

 

[Bruno@MT]

Oh, we know. We just. don't. CARE. :EG:

Reminds me of my wife.
We never fight, though we have disagreements that we work out in a level voice without insulting and shouting.

What she does, however, sometimes do is when I am trying to explain something, she'll make a remark which is completely absurd. I'll start saying something along the lines of 'No, haven't you been listing, I meant ...' or 'How can you say that? Isn't it obvious that, ...'
And then 3 or 4 sentences into my answer, I notice her grinning at me. And when she sees that I have noticed, she gives me a perfectly innocent sweet smile.

 

[Stac3y]

In all seriousness it's not that you don't care... lots of women somehow for some weird messed up reason feel they NEED to get yelled at.

Careful with your generalizations, sir. You don't know me, and I'm not one of those "lots of women" you're talking about. Nor are many others on this forum, I suspect.

In all seriousness, I try not to push my husband too far--it hurts his feelings, and does nothing positive for our relationship. And I have quite a long fuse...but once it's burned through, well, I can blow my stack, too.

 

[CoryKS]

Getting insight about women from scientists... sounds like a great idea. Their renown in this field is legendary.

 

[MA-Caver]

Careful with your generalizations, sir. You don't know me, and I'm not one of those "lots of women" you're talking about. Nor are many others on this forum, I suspect.

Very true... that is why I said "LOTS of women"... not "ALL women" :asian:
Yet it's basically the same generalization that women have about "MEN!" i.e. All men are jerks!


which is true but that is besides the point...


:wink1: :uhyeah:

(I did get your jest m'dear)